It's not over tonight. Just give me one more chance to make it right. I may not make it through the night; I won't go home without you.

I've had a highly lazy and. . .introspective Sunday. I won't even admit what time it was when I finally got out of bed. I was awake, but with my rigged up laptop, I didn't actually have to get UP except to eat.

When I finally dragged myself out of bed, I found myself in the same weird, weird mood that I've been in for the last couple of days. Something's off, and I'm not entirely certain what it is. I was just down. Way down.

And then I started thinking about the widow of the trooper that was killed, the baby that just died, and I started feeling guilty for being down. I don't have any real reason for it, you know? No one's died. This girl (who, as it turns out, is actually my age) has just lost just about everything. I haven't lost anything. Nothing real anyway. I don't have any right to feel sorry for myself, but I still do.

So today, I found myself going for a drive. Usually, I go to Asheville, but something was pulling me in the opposite direction today. I went west, and ended up in Bryson City.

I'm guessing that few people who read here know anything about Bryson City. It's a little town (I learned today that it was a town, by a sign that said "Welcome to the town of Bryson City." Wouldn't it make more sense for them to have named it Bryson Town? Or just Bryson? But I digress.) I think their main thing is the train station. The Great Smoky Mountain Railroad used to have two depots, one in Dillsboro and one in Bryson City. I worked in the Dillsboro depot last holiday season, but they shut that one down.

Anyway, I'd only been in Bryson City once before, and it was in the evening/at night, so I'd never really seen it. But I learned today that it's really, really cute. It's like the downtown of my town, but bigger.

I think, without really thinking about it, I was trying to go to a place that had nothing but good connotations for me. Everywhere around here, I can find something negative or unpleasant about, and Bryson City, since I've only been there the one time, had happy memories for me. I was there 8 or 9 months ago, back when everything seemed a little less sad and a lot less complicated.

I remember it was cold. Really, really cold. I think it was mid-March, early April when I was there, and it was the kind of cold that you feel like you're never going to get warm from. But it was ok. Because everything was kind of wonderful back then. Life was. . .good. And I was happy. Really happy. I don't ever remember that kind of happiness prior to or since that time.

But that's what I needed today. I needed to remember that happy time and I needed to look forward to a time when I'll be that happy again.

Wow, sorry to get all emo on y'all. I had a month or so like this back in June, and then again in August. I'm just kind of down. I'll be fine.

My county is under a freeze warning. I was trying to hold out bringing out the space heater until November, but I may not make that.