Tell her about it, tell her everything you feel. Give her every reason to accept that you're for real.

I discovered this evening that for the past 24 years, men have been holding out on me.

No. . .not like that.

I was looking for a plain white T-shirt to wear under a shirt I'm wearing tomorrow. I kept finding all these girl shirts with weird buttons on the sleeves or ridiculously high prices. Then I found them: men's undershirts.

I know a lot of guys wear them under, like, button-down shirts, but I'm not entirely sure why. That is, I wasn't sure why. Now I know.

Because they are ridiculously comfortable. Seriously. Luckily, they come in a pack of two, so I have an extra one to wear to bed. Which I am currently doing. It's soft and comfortable and wonderful. I only wish I'd gotten them in small instead of medium, because I have a feeling that under tomorrow's shirt, it's going to be a little big. But still. Best three bucks I even spent.

After I left work this evening, I did something I haven't done in a while: I drove through three different counties. I just wanted to drive, and to think about things. I cranked the music and sang along and thought.

One conclusion I came to is that I absolutely will go to the company Christmas party even though the Person Who Hates me will be there. I'm going to put on my awesome black and white polka-dotted dress, my snazzy red heels, and bring my cousin as my date and it will be awesome. Yes. Period.

I was going to color my hair tonight, but I just got back like 45 minutes ago (11:15-ish) and I didn't want to invoke the wrath of my insane neighbor. So I'll just wear a hat tomorrow and color it tomorrow night. I hate that my roots grow so fast, because I have to do this often, and it's the biggest pain. However, it's less of a pain than hating my natural hair color. I wouldn't be so incredibly self-conscious about it except one of the reporters feels the need to point out when my roots are growing in. I'm aware I shouldn't let that bother me, but it does. What I really, really want is to put a bright color in along with the dark brown. Like. . .red or pink or something. However, I feel like I'm past the age where that's acceptable. I have to be "professional" now.

But dark brown hair would be perfect with pink highlights! I'm so mad I missed this stage of rebellion. Instead, I got my cartiledge pierced.

This guy I know, Mike, said I should get different colored highlights in my hair. He thought it would look cool, but it sounds like entirely too much effort. I just really want red. Not the kind of red my hair is now, but Crayola red. How awesome would that be?

Also, if I had a technicolor color in my hair, it might not match everything.