This feeling's like no other. I want you to know that I've never had someone that knows me like you do. (The way you do.)

Ladies, gentlemen and assorted others, I apologize with the profuse apologeticness of a thousand people who are really, really sorry for my lack of updating as of late. I keep meaning to but just. . .don't. There's been a lot going on, and some of it isn't anything I really feel like talking about, so I feel it's better to not blog at all than to blog depressingly.

It may, however, have cost me the few readers I have. Come back! I still love you!

So let's start with the election.

Obama won. Duh. What's funny to me, though, is that North Carolina, as of 1:07 p.m. Wednesday, Nov. 5, STILL hasn't gone either way. We are the 2008 version of the 2000 Florida. it doesn't really matter which way we go, because the election's been called, but if we end up going Democratic, that'll be the first time in. . .30, 40 something years that that's happened, and that's pretty much a milestone, no matter which way you voted.

Facebook, to me, has been the funniest part of the election. The people who voted Obama are FREAKING OUT in their status massages and the people who voted McCain are all really angry and saying America's going to hell in a handbasket.

Me? I'm just glad the whole thing is over. No more political ads, no more fliers in my mailbox. . .we're done. I did vote, if you're wondering. I didn't actually like either candidate, but I did vote for one of them. Not that a vote matters, mind you, since we still have the ridiculously outdated Electoral College in place, but still. It's nice to pretend, if even for a moment, that your opinion matters, even if you're like me and your opinion is kind of wishy-washy.

McCain, in my opinion, gave one hell of a concession speech. He seemed like a completely different person than he's been for the last. . .however God-awful long we've been in this election process. I have a feeling if he'd showed that side of himself, rather than the smug, condescending, Emperor Palpatine asshat he's been, we might have woken up to different headlines this morning.

Actually, I told Dennis last night (because everyone was at the office really late, working to get the election edition of the paper out this morning) [also, I accidentally typed "erection edition" of the paper, and I'm pretty sure that we wouldn't be able to get away with that. Whatever that may actually be.] that Obama people really, really bug me. Not all of them, obviously, but the loud ones. They're all so. . .I don't remember the word I used to describe them, but. . .maybe arrogant? I don't know. I have, as a general rule, and I know this doesn't apply to everyone, noticed that extremely liberal people tend to be more arrogant and extremely conservative people tend to be more smug. I think the lesson here is that middle-of-the-road-wishy-washy is the way to be. At least in this instance.

I'd also comment on the douchiness of those people at McCain's concession speech who were booing Obama, but I feel I've talked enough politics. It'll be interesting to see what the next four years will bring. I have a feeling it'll bring a Palin run for the presidency in 2012.

Good Lord, I'll be pushing 30 in 2012. Jeez.

Ok, so now important things. America's Next Top Model. It's on tonight, and I hope against all hope it's better than last week's episode, because last week's episode was more boring than Mayor Boring McBoringstein of Boringville. They're down to 5 girls now, who are still on the road towards becoming America's Next Top Model.

They are, from my least favorite to the one I hope wins:

5. Marjorie
Dear sweet Jesus, why is this girl still on my TV screen? She's Not. Cute. She's awkward, she's self-deprecating, she's NOT CUTE, she keeps pulling her "Oh, I'm foreign and that's why I'm this way and blah blah blah SHUT UP, MARJORIE! This is America's Next Top Model, honeycakes. Not the "Foreigners Coming to America to Model and Complaining Because 'No One Understands Them' Because They Moved to America When They Were 7" competition. Shut. Up. Every time Marjorie is on the screen, I want to cry. If she wins this thing, I will personally hunt down Ms. Tyra Banks, punch her first in the face and then in the back of her weave, and tell her that her level of fierceness has gone down by a multiple of 10. Period.

4. Elina
Ok, ok. I know that Elina, at the beginning of this competition, was one of my favorites. Not anymore. She has become super-creepy, really annoying and obnoxious beyond all reason. Sure, she takes good photos, but she's. . .she is opinionated to the point of being pushy and in-your-face, and she has suddenly latched onto whatever her nationality is (a nationality I'm pretty sure we hadn't even heard about before a couple of weeks ago) as an excuse as to why "no one understands her." She's, apparently, Eastern European or something, and I'll give her the same speech I gave Marjorie: You're in America. You're in a competition with the word "America" in the title. Stop whining about being foreign. You're pretty enough, but obnoxious as hell. You and Marjorie can both go home. Also, she was in the bottom 2 for two weeks in a row. It's time, Elina.

3. Samantha
Samantha is just kind of annoying, but not in the kind of way that elicits real hatred, such as how I feel about fracking Marjorie. I think Samantha is an idiot, but no one ever said models were supposed to be smart. She has a bit of pig face going on as well, which I don't find attractive at all. If it came down to idiot Marjorie, Elina and Samantha, I'd have to go for Samantha, but she's not interesting (or pretty) enough to be the winner of this competition. I do think that "uninteresting" is probably the best descriptor I can come up with for her. There's nothing special about her. To me, she always kind of looks like she's on the verge of tears.


2. McKey
Now, McKey, I think is kind of hideous, and she looks like a man. If we're talking about looks, McKey would definitely be 5/5 for me. But she doesn't have enough annoying characteristics for me to truly dislike her. She's vaguely interesting, I guess, and 100 times better than Elina and INFINITELY better than Idiot Marjorie. I think McKey was much more attractive before they gave her her makeover, but what can you do? Now she. . .definitely looks like a man, but if my girl didn't win, McKey wouldn't be an absolutely awful alternative. I kind of, for whatever reason, actually get the feeling she wins this thing. But time will tell.

1. Analeigh
This? Is my GIRL. She first caught my attention because her huge peace sign necklace reminded me of my sister, but throughout the entire competition, she's been awesome. She had the best commercial when they did them the other week, she seems genuinely sweet and likable (until the inevitable "Analeigh is not what she seems!" episode) and she's really, really pretty. I'm just absolutely in love with Analeigh and, even though I have a feeling she's not going to take the entire thing, I hope she at least makes is to the top 3. If either Elina or Idiot Marjorie (ESPECIALLY Idiot Marjorie) makes it over her, this show and I will be done.

So we'll see what happens tonight.

Next time, I'll write about going through resumes, my new job, High School Musical 3, and my new and improved 'diabeetus.'