So what? I'm still a rock star. I got my rock moves. And I don't need you.

I went out last night with CousinCasey and Amanda. I hadn't been out with anyone except McHotpants in quite a while, so it was nice to have Girl Time. I don't, as a general rule, like girls all that much, but sometimes, boys are kind of lame.

So after a couple glasses of wine, we began toasting. Amanda's toast was "Here's to me no longer being married to a complete shit." (She'd had mediation that day.) I don't remember CousinCasey's toast. But mine was, "Here's to realizing who is worth your time and who is not."

The more I thought about that (and I thought about it through a lot of today), the more I realized that I have a problem. My problem is, throughout the years, I've had friends and various others in my life that aren't good for me. I don't mean necessarily that it was the occasional thing that just got on my nerves because, let's face it - we all get on someone's nerves at some given time during any relationship. I know that I get on my friends' nerves occasionally just like they get on my nerves occasionally. It happens. You can't like someone all the time.

But my thing is, I get involved, in whatever capacity, with people who can be just kind of. . .bad for me. It's kind of hard to explain.

The problem lies in the fact that I'm willing, a lot of the time, to overlook it because I'm fond of the person, or the person that they used to be. I KNOW I need to disassociate myself, but I'm not willing to do it.

Am I even making sense?

I'll use, as an example, my long-term high school boyfriend. I dated him, collectively, for a year and a half. We were one of those on-again, off-again couples. It was obvious to everyone that we weren't a good match, for various reasons. I knew it. There were several things about him and about our relationship that I knew were bad and that I knew pointed to the fact that he wasn't someone I needed in my life. Despite the fact that I was aware of this, I kept him around.

My question is, why do I do this? I cling to these relationships that are no good for me, whether because they're just plain dysfunctional, whether the person just doesn't treat me well, or whatever.

Point being, I'm trying not to hold onto things that aren't good for me. But it's hard.

In other news, my job has become frustrating almost to the point I can't breathe. I wake up every day and hit the snooze until the last possible minute that I won't be late to work.

This entire entry was a waste of space.