3:49 a.m, and I am shown, once again, that being up all night with no sleep (because I didn't take the proper drugs because of the wine I consumed) is not as glamorous and as rock star-like as one might initially think. In this case, though, I blame a combination of not taking the proper sleep aid and being stressed out about. . .things I don't need to be stressed out about. I'm expecting a phone call today that I'm dreading. I'm dreading it because, while it could, in fact, be a simple, innocuous phone call, I have the sneaking suspicion there's going to be more to it than that. Call me paranoid, but I'm just not up to exchanging pleasantries with someone I know would probably give me a good, swift roundhouse kick to the jaw if given the opportunity.
Nick's been here since Sunday evening, which has been nice. Occasionally, I'm reminded of life outside of work, and someone being here helps. I had yesterday (Tuesday) off (since I used my last 2008 vacation day to accomplish that) and we went to Asheville to hang out. After an IHOP run (the same IHOP I went to New Year's Day. Yes, I know. But he paid! So I didn't feel guilty!), and then we went to Target (which we don't have where I live) and the mall.
Let me tell you: The mall? Dangerous place to be right after the holidays. Everyone is having sales, and they're good sales, and sales tend to make me think I need things I really don't need. However, I only made purchases from two stores, two stores that are usually relatively on the pricey side (Bath and Body Works and Victoria's Secret) and since they were both having their semi-annual sales, I was able to spend much less on what I bought than I would have otherwise. And that will be the last of Sarah-purchases for a while, because I need to get my bank account back where it should be, rather than in the scary place in which it currently resides.
I have an incredibly busy day ahead of me, and that's partially why I'm so pissed I'm not getting any sleep. I have a phone interview sometime this morning, I have the phone call that could potentially not end well, and I have a lunch thing with two women who want me to write an article (two articles, actually, one for the actually paper and one for my publication) about their organization.
You know, I have to say. . . one of the hardest things about being in this business is realizing that sometimes, people don't actually like you, but they're really, really nice to you to get things they want. There have been instances where people have been super nice to me, and then once they've gotten what they've wanted, I don't ever hear from them. There are, of course, flip sides to that: people who are nice to me AFTER I've done something nice for them, and that's fine. One of the women from one of the animal shelters in town has never been anything but nice to me, and when she asks me to do something, if I can't do it right away, or if I can't fit it in, she doesn't get indignant or anything like that. And she still e-mails me to see how my holidays were, or to comment on something she saw I wrote in the paper.
But then there are the other people. The people who remind me why I need to keep personal and business as two entirely seperate entities. (Which, incidentally, I'm usually pretty good at doing. I'm friends with people at work, but if I need something that I'm not getting, I don't let the friendship aspect get in the way of, "Hey, dude. I need this." Like NewJeff, for instance. I went to see his band on New Year's Eve, but if I don't like something he's done on one of my covers, I'll say, "Well, actually, what I had in mind was more like this." I'm not worried about offending him on a "friends" level, because it's entirely business. Just because I don't like the color of the font he used doesn't mean I'm going to say no when he asks me if I want to walk down to the gas station for a Coke.)
The people I'm talking about were the people I worked with during the Make-A-Wish motorcycle rally thing. I know I wrote about that back in. . .September? It was a two-part entry, I remember that. But up until that point, these people were pretty much falling all over themselves to be nice to me, to get me to get-togethers (get-togethers which I later found out were kind of expected to have been part of some kind of article). I got a call from one of the people a couple of weeks ago from one of the people who told me about a Make-A-Wish event happening. . .I believe it was that evening. I was asked if I'd be able to attend because "they'd love to have me." And then it was added, as if as an afterthought, "Oh, and if you could write something up for Monday's paper, that'd be good, too."
Up until that point right there, I'd been planning to go. Not for work, but just to go. But after that? I did not attend. If you want me to go somewhere to write a story for you, then you need to say, "Hey, Sarah, there's this event, and I wondered if you could do a write up for us." Don't pretend you actually want me as a person there and then throw in an "Oh, by the way." That just makes me angry.
The women I mentioned I'm meeting later today? One of them (Jan) called me last week and said, "Sarah, I wondered if we would be able to have a lunch meeting next week so we can discuss an article about the Guild's upcoming membership meeting." Very straightforward. I knew what was being asked of me and, as a journalist, that's my job. Since I like her, I offered to do the two stories, one about the upcoming meeting for my publication, and one for the Lifestyles section after the meeting happened. (The Lifestyles section tends to be a more after-the-fact kind of thing.) And I don't mind doing that in the least, because she was straightforward with me about what she was asking.
Another person (and I'm sorry I'm ranting about this. . .I'm just kind of on a roll and I'm incredibly irritated that I'm awake.) that has done something similar was another person involved with the M-A-W thing. I've mentioned her before, the editor from California, who, after I'd mentioned our photographer covering the event, was saying, oh, yeah, I could get this for you to do, and that, and the other thing, and then once I introduced her to Dennis, guess how many times I've heard from her. Once. She e-mailed me to ask if Dennis had gotten her e-mail about the pictures she wanted to use for her magazine of the event. The free publicity. (No that's not entirely fair. I don't actually know if it was free publicity. I haven't asked him if she paid for the pictures or not, so I can't say that definitively.)
Point being, she's been in fairly constant contact with him (the person who had what she REALLY wanted) and I'm not too proud to say I'm irritated and. . .whatever, that after saying all this stuff, the only real use she had for me was to get a really good photographer for photos for her magazine.
Maybe I'm petty. All I'm saying is, if the only use for me you have is getting to someone else, just say, "Hey, thanks for his card. Can you introduce me to him tomorrow?" Period. I'll say sure (since it is, of course, a business transaction) and that'll be the end of it. If Dennis had been there the night I met the woman, I have a feeling we wouldn't have exchanged more than pleasantries.
I swear I'm not going around thinking about this all the time. It's just something that's there, and when I started talking about it, I felt the need to finish, and I won't mention it again. Probably.
I'm sure I'm going to be a joy and a pleasure to be around when I get into work. I'm going to try not to let me lack of sleep get in the way of me getting done what needs to get done. And then I'm going to take some serious sleep medication tonight, and maybe my sleep schedule will get back on track. Or. . .as close to being on track as it ever was.
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