Ready? Let's roll onto something new. Taking its toll and I'm leaving without you.

A lot has happened since I actually started writing this entry three days ago. I'm going to add new things along with things I've already written, and hopefully, it won't turn out sounding too disjointed. Not that you care. All 3 people that read this are pretty understanding.

1. America's Next Top Model: Don't Hate Them 'Cause They're Beautiful
I was fully intending on doing what my Twin does with Project Runway, and recapping the season premiere of America's Next Top Model, but one of my online dating guys called about half an hour in, and I missed the other hour and a half. I'm sad, actually. Is is entirely bad that I wish I'd have called him back today rather than miss the show? I've already decided I have a total girl crush on one of the contestants, Elina. She won't win, but I love her. Next week, I'll start with recaps, if I remember.

One of the girls, Clark, I believe her name was, was a total bitch but so incredibly pretty. I want to hate her, but that's part of the reason pretty people have it so easy. You can't hate them, because they're pretty. You don't want to yell at them on the off chance that you'll ruin your chances of them ever making out with you.

2. DateGuy, DatIng, and Why I Need Therapy
So OnlineDateGuy called me and we talked for a while. Originally, he'd asked me to go out with him today (Friday. . .or, at least, Friday if I EVER finish this entry). I knew even while talking to him that it wouldn't work out to be anything earth-shattering, but I agreed to go out with him because I said to myself, "Self, you haven't even met this guy. You're not giving him a chance. You're taking your Way Too High Standards and applying them to someone you've never even seen in person." I mean, he sexual innuendoed me within 20 minutes of our first conversation. At least wait until you've met me, you know? And throughout the conversation, he did it quite a few times. There's a difference between flirting and sexual innuendoing. Flirting with people you don't know well is fun. You shouldn't sexual innuendo (you like how I've made that into a verb?) someone you don't know.

So the next day (Thursday) I'm contemplating this date, and the more I thought about it, the more I just didn't want to go. And THEN I found out that the next day (Friday, or today, in theory) was the big football game between the two public high schools in the county. I believe it's called something like County Clash and it's a big freaking deal. Like. . .everyone goes. And since I missed Border Bash due to CousinCasey's birthday soiree, I was NOT happy about the fact that I'd have to miss County Clash to go on a date with someone who. . .well. . .I'm Just Not That Into Him.

I broke the date.

You know, I have more, much more, to say, but I'm exhausted and I have to get up early.

Next time: Why football is better than sex, Biltmore House, and the Job from Hell

The sex she slipped into my coffee; the way she felt when she first saw me. Hate to love and love to hate her, like a broken record player.

So new tires for my car.

I've been having trouble with steering for a couple days now, and I was going to take it in Wednesday to be looked at. Then yesterday, I noticed this large fissure in my left front tire. I'm thinking that has something to do with my steering issues, and I took it in today to get new tires. Derek found me cheap-ish tires, and I went ahead and had them do all 4, since it's been quite some time that I've been driving on the ones I have now. Probably an unsafe amount of time, truth be told.

Online dating experience update: Talked to this guy on AIM last night that was nice enough. Two hours away. That could actually be ideal for me, since I seem to be non-functional when it comes to real relationships. Apparently, his uncle met his wife on the site I'm using. Not that this guy would help me in my quest to get out more, but whatever. Baby steps.

I printed this wedding announcement Wednesday that was obscenely long. Like. . .half a page long. I get a call last week from the mother of the bride who wanted to point out that I'd made two mistakes (I'd accidentally left out a bridesmaid and the spellcheck had caught the name of the place in Mexico to where they'd honeymooned, and I clicked "ok" to correct it, because I thought I'd misspelled someone's name (They went to Calicia, Mexico, and I thought I'd accidentally changed someone named Alicia's name to Calicia.) She also thought the picture I printed was "insultingly" small. Well, Sweet Cheeks, "insulting" = "free." She didn't pay for a larger picture, so I gave her the free size.

So as she's talking to me, she tells me that I didn't "give her the option" of putting in a larger picture. I can honestly tell you, I have never in my almost 10-month career here had to tell someone there was the option of a bigger picture. They always ask. "Is there a charge for the picture?" they'll say, and I'll tell them, "Not for the smallest size. However, there are these other two sizes that cost $Y and $Z." Would that not be the kind of question you'd ask?

"Well," she says, "I felt like I was being rushed along with this and I was afraid to ask any questions."

How about, you came in at 8:30 on a Monday morning with this stupid announcement and I was on my way to a meeting? How about, when I said I was on my way to a meeting, if you had more questions, you could have asked if you could call later? I would be happy to answer your stupid questions. Don't freaking stand there trying to talk to me when I have clearly more important things to do. If you want me to talk to you, maybe you should do it when it's convenient?

"I always feel like I'm getting the brush-off when I go to The Peak," she says.

Maybe that's because you're irritating?

Then she slyly (she thinks) mentions she's "good friends" with the general manager and asks if she should just take it up with him.

Ok, ok, ok. Hold up. Why would the GENERAL MANAGER be concerned about a WEDDING ANNOUNCEMENT. Your daughter isn't royalty, I promise. I said no, there's no reason to get him involved.

So the GM comes up this morning and says, "Are you re-running the [name of person] wedding?" I say yes. He says, "Can we get a bigger picture on that?" I said yes, she's already spoken to me.

I'm guessing he told her we'd do it free. I really, truly hate people sometimes.

Does anyone know of any jobs in the WNC area that don't involve actually talking to people?

I wish I could fly. I know I could save us somehow.

I know, I know. Epic Fail.

According to the little thing on my "Blogger Dashboard," the last time I updated was July 20. Almost a month ago. And I know that my original intent was a daily update, and then it was a weekly update but. . .I just haven't felt like writing, you know? Sometimes you just don't.

This past week was pretty crazy. Vi was out of town, so CousinCasey was basically in charge, with a little bit of backup help from yours truly. If I do say so myself, we put out three fairly kickass papers on our own. CousinCasey and I even stayed late Thursday for a "breaking news" story. I'm fairly certain we were the only media outlet to publish it that next day. So that was pretty exciting. Maybe I'm a news nerd, but I was pretty stoked.

Friday was CousinCasey's birthday, so we went to the next big city over to have dinner. I was planning on going to a big football game that night, but we didn't get back in time. It's cool, though, because I need to work on being sociable, and going alone to a football game instead of to dinner with like 9 other people isn't exactly part of being sociable.

Truth be told, I've been kind of out of sorts lately. My personal life has taken a large crash and burn, yet again, and I've just been. . .uncomfortable in my own life. That make sense?

So I did something I've kind of looked down on for years. I joined the community of online dating.

Yeah, yeah. Say what you will, but the way I figure it, I work so much because I have nothing to do outside of work. Therefore, by working so much, I'm ensuring that I don't get out and FIND things to do outside of work. It's a catch-22. So I joined a Web site and have, in the last 3 days or so, had what would be considered pretty good luck. I don't know. I'm not really expecting to find the love of my life courtesy of my computer, but I figure, at the very least, I'll find something to do that's not work. Because McHotpants pointed out to me the other day that I really need friends and interests outside of work. I need to not be here so frequently. I need to get out and have things to look forward to doing at the end of the day.

So how about that Michael Phelps? All of the Olympic games I've been watching have been watched over at CousinCasey's, and last night, over a dinner of breakfast, I was trying to come up with 10 compelling reasons why Michael Phelps should marry me. I came up with four.

1. I'm totally okay with celebrity.
2. He could manage to convince me to get married in the first place, which is quite a feat.
3. No one can spell or pronounce my last name, and "Phelps" will be known worldwide now. It's a win-win.

I don't actually remember the 4th one.

Also last night, I saw Miss Congeniality for the first time. I had no idea William Shatner was in that movie, and had I been aware, I would have seen it much sooner. I don't know if I've ever mentioned my love of William Shatner, but it's an incredible love. I feel the same way about William Shatner as I do about Project Runway's Tim Gunn. It's not that I have a crush on either one or that I want to have their children or anything like that. It's just below that. We watched Miss Congeniality right after watching Project Runway, and I noticed I had the same reactions (squealing and applauding) when both William Shatner and Tim Gunn came on the screen.

Just one of those things, I guess.

My novel-writing is going slowly. I was too happy for a while, and I can't write fiction when I'm really happy, for some reason. Needless to say, I'll be picking that up again here soon.